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Sep 11

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When NORMAL becomes ABNORMAL…

Normal abnormalWhen the complications of Type 1 diabetes sets in and start to affect your quality of life, diabetes has a new meaning (not only for me), but also for my friends and family.

My body is clearly weaker in the nerve ending zones and here my lack of proper peristalsis and very slow stomach emptying, can on some days cause extreme discomfort, social dilemmas and lack of sleep.  The morning nausea because of undigested food of last night, is a real disgusting feeling to start your day with.  My children has gotten use to the sounds coming from the bathroom in the morning and normally just asks if I am okay.  I have to be okay.  After 10 months of no work and virtually bedridden because of this chronicness of chronic, I now have a small income that I can ‘run’ from home and still make my mark in life.  I still have a role to fulfil and the Lord is opening all the doors for me now!

The past two weeks actually went well, apart from sugars very high, I didn’t feel weak or dizzy. Today again was a bit of a battle keeping my eyes open at 12am and the blood pressure must have been down, because walking from the bathroom to my bedroom caused a dizzy spell. My son, now seventeen, so much wanted to take me for a walk today after school. He believes that mommy should exercise to get her legs strong and her blood circulation going.  He is not far from right and I was hoping to join him today, but when I got up again to walk to the study, I had the same feeling of dizziness.  I felt I was letting him down. His sister was the brave one to say:’ mommy is not feeling well. You just need to accept it’.  This was a bit hard for me to digest at the moment, but it was so spot-on…

For so many years I could hide my chronic condition behind my smile, but nowadays I’m pale, I tire quickly, I tend to lose my balance because of loss of sensation under my feet and standing/walking becomes difficult when the blood pressure drops into my socks.

This is all part of ‘growing up’ and facing the consequences of a chronic illness.

How do I cope? This is my normal.

NORMAL to ME, FEELS ABNORMAL

 

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